Idiot

This is the deluded confession of
An addict, in case you were curious.
Healing begins with remembering,
Apparently. Step 4:

Inventory your sins, document your crimes,
Relive each of those moments you fucked up
And wished you were dead, or worse.
And you dare think it could save you?

Oh, you're still here reading?
Well it's really none of your business;
Go choke down your own fucked up
Memories, and leave mine out of it.

Standing bare-ass naked on a snow bank
Watching the sun disappear behind the
Frozen clouds of my own breath,
The sting of frozen flesh... I said stay out of it.

A life utterly wasted, used up uselessly
On the most toxic of drugs: Hope.
And thinking a few nonsense words scribbled
On a scrap of paper could redeem anyone?

Your photograph there in my mind
Has torn and faded over time.
Sight, which had been grey before
Has found a world of color once more.

The world and I have turned again
Away from you and all the pain,
But scars, I've found, and memory
Do not fade quite so easily.

I still can feel you deep within
Sliding there beneath my skin,
Muscle, sinew, nerve, and bone –
Those places that you once called home.

And while I wish I had some cure
For your spectre, I am sure
That though my mind has said adieu,
My heart will ne'er get over you.